Red Leather Pants
by NurdyGrl64
Summary: "Hey Germany, I'm thinking about getting a pair of really tight, red, leather pants. You know? Something that really cradles my butt." ONE SHOT CRACK FIC! No Pairings! Most likely OOC!


**Author's note: Hello all! This is just a short and total crack fic and not meant to be taken seriously! The joke in this story was inspired by a couple of episodes of NCIS, specifically scenes that show inattentive characters being told ridiculous things by their peers trying to get their attention. Hope you enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Hetalia, all rights belong to their rightful owners. Nations may also be OOC in this fic.**

The world meeting, as usual was total chaos, with nations either brawling on the floor, having verbal spats with each other or sleeping. Except for, surprisingly, Germany, whom was so engrossed in whatever he was doing with the papers in front of him that he didn't notice several nations stop, namely members of the G8 with the addition of Spain, Romano and Prussia (whom had decided it would be awesome to crash the meeting to annoy his brother), trying to get his attention.

"YO! Germany! DUDE!" America tried shouting while waving his hand in front of Germany's face.

"Nippon to Doitsu!" Japan tried next.

Prussia cups his hands around his mouth and got close to his brother's ear while going "Cchkr, this is your captain speaking, we will be landing in Honduras in approximately 15 minutes, please make sure your seats and tray tables are in their upright and locked position and thank you for flying Air Space Cadette….Earth to Germany…hellooo~"

"My, he's really out of it, isn't he?" England asked while watching with a little concern. Italy, who had been watching from beside his friend, decided to try his hand at snapping Germany out of his fog.

"HEY GERMANY! LET'S GO GET SOME PASTA!"

An absent-minded "…mmhm" was all the response Italy got.

"….Hey Germany, Turkey is invading and my brother is trying to fend him off! You have to help us!"

Once again, the only response he got was "mmhm…"

'Ok', Italy thought with a determined frown, 'time to bring out the big guns…'

And with the most serious face anyone has ever seen on him, he leaned in close and said "Hey Germany, I'm thinking about getting a pair really tight, red, leather pants. You know? Something that really cradles my butt." He tried out first, emphasizing the word "cradles" by cupping his hands together. Over half the nations that were gathered around Germany snickered, trying to hold their laughter. The only response that Germany gave was, once again, an absent hum. So Italy pushed it further.

"Maybe I'll get you a matching pair, si?" No response "Yeah, I know what we can do, I'll wear the red ones, you can wear the yellow ones and Prussia will wear the black ones, and we'll go walking around in the formation of the German flag." Still no response, other than the nations trying to hold back the laughter threatening to spill over.

'Ok, let's try something else,' Italy thought.

"…I'm pregnant Germany… with twins," the gathered nations nearly lost it on this one. "I really don't know how it happened. It's a miracle! Or maybe magic! I haven't told the father yet though." Still no response out of Germany, meanwhile the others watching were losing their grip on their laughter. Italy still pushed onward with his spiel, face still completely serious.

"…It's England," said nation finally lost it, as well as America, France, Spain, Prussia and even Romano had found it funny and started laughing. Russia still had the same creepy smile on his face, just with the addition of some chuckles escaping. Even Japan couldn't hold it for much longer. Everyone else was still holding it in, wanting to see how far Italy would go before Germany responded. Italy ignored them all and continued.

"Yeah, I don't really know what it is, just something about his eyebrows that just… really turns me on" Still getting no response, he finally gave up and just smacked the back of Germany's head. Hard.

"AUTSCH!* ITALIEN! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Germany _finally_ noticed everyone that was gathered around him as the remaining nations that hadn't already lost all composure, was lost in a fit of laughter, some in tears. He just looked around in total confusion.

"What the hell is so funny?!" he asked looking at anyone who might be able to give him answers.

"Dios MIO! _REALLY_?!" Italy yelled while throwing his hands up in the air and walking away, having to step over or around the nations that had given up on trying to stay standing, and straight out the meeting room door while mumbling to himself about working oneself too hard and needing a siesta. Germany looked all over the room, trying to figure out what was going on, and was only met with either laughter of those that were gathered or close enough to the group to have over heard the whole thing, or looks of confusion and shrugs that mirrored his own. America finally managed to compose himself enough to catch his breath and adjourn the meeting for the day, before collapsing again.

Meanwhile, Germany could only sit there and stare at the door Italy had disappeared through while thinking 'what the hell just happened?'

 ***Autsch: German form of "ouch"**

 **Hope you enjoyed reading, it was really just a scenario that popped into mind while I was watching my favorite show.**


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